Early this month I did a girls weekend. Even just writing that I still feel a tinge of guilt. Before the trip, the thought crossed my mind more than once that I should just cancel it and stay home. The drive was too long, it was too hard to get away, I was being selfish, blah, blah, blah.

But, I had committed to going months ago. And I had made a deal with myself that I would connect with these friends in person at least once while we live on the east coast. So, I re-committed to going despite the long drives and knowing full well I would come home exhausted.

I went, slept possibly a total of 8 hours the entire weekend, laughed harder than I’ve laughed in years, reconnected with old friends, reminisced over old memories and made many, many new memories. In short, it was a weekend I won’t soon forget and one I will most definitely cherish.

Was the effort hard? You bet. But, was it worth it? Without a doubt.

It was a huge effort to make the weekend happen and the effort had me questioning (whether or not I saw it that way in the moment) whether or not I was worth the effort.

This highlights a challenge I think we all have. Taking time for ourselves whether it be a girl’s weekend or scheduling a daily walk, or just starting our day with a glass of lemon water can feel like too much effort. In today’s world we say things like self-care but it often comes with a connotation of being self-indulgent. 

The phrase ‘self-indulgent’ gets used as a way to demonstrate to ourselves that we don’t deserve the time. We put something else ahead of our own well being over and over again. This is what I believe is at the heart of our challenge with taking care of ourselves.That believe that we don’t deserve the time or the space influences how we treat our body, our life and our mind.

Recently I wrote a blog post for Thrive Global titled, “Own the Space”. Like so many, I for so long felt like I should apologize for the space I take up. As if I am taking it from someone else. But, in truth, when I really stand in my space, that energy and vibration impacts everyone around me in the best way. When I don’t do that, I’m depriving others of that positive energy.

What if we decided, or remembered, that we are here for a reason. We have an obligation to ourselves, our communities and our families to fully be who we are. And to fully be who we are, it means we have to take care of ourselves. Show ourselves love, compassion and a commitment to our own well-being.

Sometimes the effort feels insurmountable and over the top and most certainly selfish. But in truth, it can be simple, monotonous and essential. Regardless, it always takes a commitment to ourselves, to say that we are worth the experience. Our body, our life is worth valuing and feeling good.

When we feel good, it creates a ripple effect. We talk more kindly to others, we have more patience, we stand up for what we believe, we show our gifts to the world. I think there is nothing more important for us to do in today’s world than to show up fully and be a force for good.

Next time you are questioning whether or not to go on that walk, what to eat for breakfast or whether or not that girl’s weekend is worth the effort, ask yourself this: How do I want to feel tomorrow or next week? What actions help me feel that way? If today’s decision doesn’t help me feel how I want to feel in the future, then it is a no go. Sometimes just anticipating how I want to feel is enough to tip me towards drinking another glass of water or taking Lucy out for another walk. Because I know that how I feel doesn’t just impact me, but my kids, my husband, and everyone I interact with that day.

Stop and ask, “who do I want to be today” can be a motivating and powerful question. For me, it can shift my priorities right around. Maybe completing project X isn’t nearly as important as getting a few minutes outside so I show up grounded and centered for my day. 

As I was contemplating whether or not to drive all the way to Virginia, for a much-needed girl’s weekend, I did ask how I wanted to feel afterwards. The answer was obvious.